Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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