we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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