shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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