Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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