She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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