i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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