I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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