you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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