Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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