Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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