If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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