i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
