so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
