STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
