its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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