I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
