It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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