I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
