what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
