hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
