who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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