ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
