Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
