Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
