I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
