I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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