The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
