Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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