What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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