google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you never un-have a 4some
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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