Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
