How'd it feel making her break her religion?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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