I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
