He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
