I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
