Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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