quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And then my night got REAL pukey
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
