Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
