Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
