When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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