we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize