only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
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I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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