We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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