i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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