those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
