So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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