I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
