She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize