Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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