Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
