So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
