You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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