Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
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I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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