weddingsv make me drug and hornr
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
