Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
