i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
