So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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