I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can I color on your dick again?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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