The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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