I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
