oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
