you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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