anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
